Looking back on a teenage anthem,

I was not even a twinkle in my mothers eye when this song was released. I have the movie Basquiat to thank for introducing me to them. Nonetheless, I loved this song in my late teens.

Dream follow up,

I was rereading my dream just yesterday and it hit me like a brick.

My parents (and bothers and sisters) are moving soon. They've been on a massive house hunt, and I've had my mother calling me frequently to talk about house this and house that. How my father wants something out of their price range, or they want this one house with 18 acres and they want the husband and I to move out there with them (gah!). The house they had been looking at and wanting had water problems and way too much land for them to manage AND was also out of their price range.

The house they were in, in the dream; was empty, like it was for sale. If they take what they can't afford (that's so very obvious) or can't maintain, they will drown under the weight of what they can't manage. It could possibly destroy them.


I gave my mom a call today and she was driving back home to the midwest from Kentucky (where they're house hunting). She's talking like a billion miles a minute and it's so hard to get off the phone with her, she was driving - I felt really uncomfortable with her being on the phone. Anyway, she said that they found a house and she was practically singing about it. On a hill, enough acreage for them to have fun with (7), established nut and fruit trees, three separate gardening areas and enough room for all the kids (I've got a large family). On top of that, two lovely little bee hives. It's affordable too. I told my mom about the dream and we both agreed that this house must be the right decision. I'm really happy for them. I told her I had best be gettin' some free honey! Ohh, and propolis!

As the darkness increases (and notes),

By that I mean the dark moon.

I know many people who associate the full moon with lunacy, strange happenings and general spookiness (most of them aren't witches. I don't consider myself witch either, but, that's a post for another day!). I find that it is the dark moon that opens the doors to this lunacy and strangeness. The full and light moon to me, is just that, light, bright, allowing me to see in the darkness. It's safe.

I digress.

The dreams get wild around the dark moon, they increase with intensity, vividness. Around 4-6AM is when I'm most lucid. I flutter in and out of dreamscapes. Occasionally I'll sleep in to see how much further I can go, usually around 7am it's time to call it quits.

Last night I was by the ocean, as always. I've still really yet to figure out what it is with the ocean and I. Many times I've experienced earthquakes by the ocean and I took it as a sign of the Earth-Shaker, Poseidon. I did a tarot reading to see if it was indeed him and all I got was a, "kindly fuck off somewhere else." Maybe it's memories of my childhood. I grew up in and around the Atlantic and Gulf of Mexico.

Anyhow. My parents were with me. We were in a house right on the beach. There was a few heavy waves that brought the surge up to the house, but did not damage it at all. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, it was clear and beautiful. My husband and I went up into the hills where the town was and I could look down on the beach and house. Then, as if I was flying I was beach side and watched as two massive tsunami waves rolled into the coast line. I called to my parents to leave the house as soon as possible, I was too late. They were dead. I was half awake knowing my parents were both dead. So fucking disturbing. It took me a minute to gather my wits when I fully woke. I was covered in dread. I realized though, my parents weren't dead. They're alive, they're ok.

I haven't tried to interpret the dream, not yet anyway.

Oh, and I totally forgot to mention. It was in the middle of the night I'm pretty sure, but I saw a man or a figure of a man standing in my hallway. It was like a rough outline (I wasn't dreaming). The moment I recognized what it was it was gone. I don't have the sight (but I can sense the presence of other beings, I think anyway!). But I do see things out of the corners of my eyes, or occasional flashes of things. I don't know what to make of it just yet.

It sort of reminded me of this presence I felt in my old house, there was something very aggressive and very male living in our space. It was more taunting than anything, I never got the feeling that it would have done us harm. I felt nothing from this sighting though. Just a figure.

I finally bought a moleskine to start writing dreams/experiences/fleeting thoughts down. I'm not very good at keeping up with physical journals. I hope I keep up with this one.

On my walk yesterday I heard croaking... distant croaking. RAVENS! And indeed it was, two of them with their wedge shaped tails. They were being chased out of the neighboring woods by some naughty ol' crows. Second time I've seen them out here. Every time I hear their call I get goosebumps.

Two reasons why my neighbors hate me:

1.

I let the grass get really long. It's about thigh height and chest high in some areas. I love it though, and I know it is home to many little critters.

2.

I let the dandelions grow as much as they like, nay! I encourage them. This little guy? I found him while working the soil in an area I'm cleaning up for the herbs & poisons. His three little roots were perfect and without thinking I braided them on the spot. It'll be a perfect little talisman.

Green things,

I'm so tired. I've been getting up earlier and going to bed later. My work load (like, real job) has been, to say the very least, exhausting. I cant complain though! I love the longer days, love, love, love, them.

I had HUGE plans for the garden this year, but due to the rain sticking around a lot longer than anyone had planned the veggie part of the garden fell through. Right now I've put all of my focus on the herbs and poisons that I've got going right now.

Catnip man, my kitchen sink pal.

Silvery wormwood. I love running my fingers through the foliage and huffing in the bitter-sweetness.

Mugwort baby.

Marshmallow.

This grows beneath the raspberry patch, I knew the name of it a few days ago, it's totally slipped my mind though.

Last year I believe, we had a nest of baby spiders in the house. They appeared all over the place. They're starting to come out now that it's warmed up. I've found a couple dangling around my head in the kitchen. It's quite a surprise when you turn around to see 8 tiny eyes looking back at you!

I somehow managed not to snatch a shot of my datura, who I love. The spiders also love that plant, most mornings I can find shimmering strands running from the wormwood, marshmallow and datura. The plants have been getting regular offerings and sweet talkings to facilitate friendship.

Tasted flesh,

When I have dreams that frighten me, I don't normally consider them nightmares. Why? Because most of the time, I know I'm dreaming. Like the time I encountered the Black Man, or had my legs chopped off by the rudder of a great ship... I was fearful, but not so scared out of my wits that I didn't know how to respond to the situation.

I had a nightmare last night though.

I succumbed to cannibalism. It wasn't due to a dire situation, it was a choice. I had murdered a small child, processed its body and ate it. I don't remember the act of murder. I do remember processing the body, and I remember the taste of the flesh, the texture in my mouth the thought running through my head, that I didn't want this. It fucking freaked me out to taste flesh, I haven't eaten meat in over two years! I wretched in my dream. I wasn't doing this voluntarily, but I was still putting the fork to my mouth, opening, chewing, swallowing. I was disgusted with myself. Wondering how I was going to hide murder, that I would forever live in regret, in absolute horror of what I had done. Regret that I had made the wrong choice.

What does it represent?

I think it's a warning of destruction of a part of myself.

I am admittedly resisting what I think is my calling. The funny fucking thing is, I don't know exactly what my calling is. I have ideas, but I fearfully turn my eye from them. I tell myself I've made it up, it isn't real - or I'm just going fucking crazy.

I know better than this!

I recently went to a discussion group hosted and lead by a famous shamaness and the topic was turning your fears into an ally. It came in such a timely manner, there were things I really needed to hear. How can I fear what I've wanted? I'm afraid of what it could bring, if I faced it and accepted it. I would be afraid of failure.

Resistance is futile, and in the long run, as my dream told me, would be a very bad, bad decision.

Stupid saffron,

I CAN'T make my saffron honey cake for Hekate's Deipnon, if I don't have any fucking saffron! My little case of the precious threads are missing. Gah. I could possibly use some saffron absolute that I have stashed away. Since this cake isn't for human consumption, that should be ok.


Watch, I'll find that damn saffron somewhere totally obvious when I'm done baking.