A strange find,

While heading into the city to do errands just the other day, my husband spotted this through the window of our favorite antique store (I was busy ogling over a gourd rattle that was painted to look like a hare). He immediately said, "I'LL BUY THAT FOR YOU" all excited like. I wasn't about to say no! I'm glad he was with me, or I would have never even seen it.

Its a very strange piece. I still don't know exactly what to think of it!

Hekate has been a real driving force for me lately, in my dreams and things like finding that plaque. When my regular practice took a nose dive into almost non-existent a couple months ago, I was sure that she left me - of course it wasn't that way at all. It was me that walked away. Thankfully she has been very patient with me.

I'm currently in the process of making daily practice a habit, and it's going very well so far. I wont allow myself to check it off the goal list until I've been doing it regularly for at least a month or more. Heh, its amazing how much better I feel just getting it done, instead of thinking about doing it.

On expectations, being honest with myself and the New Year

I never intended to update this blog on a regular basis, or have any sort of routine with it. Its something I'm feeling out over time. Something I'm trying to get comfortable with - moreover something I want to be comfortable with.

There, I said it. (That was a note to myself, not to those who may be reading this!)

I really kinda effed my end of the year observances. I didn't do anything during the month of December (except for Christmas, which is a very serious holiday for my husband - the holiday that he connects with his recently passed grandparents in the biggest of ways.) I will however be doing Hogmanay, preparations have already begun.

I'm still a baby at this, ya know? Its only been two and a half years since I watched that documentary on witchcraft, had flash backs of my attempt at tree worship when I was 16 - discovered by my extremely Christian parents - firmly scolded. Flashback over and realizing, "fuck, I'm 22 now! I live 2000+ miles away from them! I can be what I want!"

I do wish I had been a bit more dedicated during this past year, but I'm not going to waste my time with lamenting what I didn't do. Instead, with this strange vigor I picked up right after Christmas I will be gearing myself up for the New Year and setting goals for things I want to accomplish (Thank you Sarah for inspiration!)

Pertaining to all aspects of my life and in no particular order:

• Sew clothing for myself
• Get my very serious garden plans off the ground or rather, in the ground, heh. (weather permitting)
• Learn to make homemade tempeh and tofu
• Actually DO daily devotionals
• Observe all personal High Days (aka: don't be a lazy bastard)
• Make progress with trance work
• Join local Mycological Society
• Enroll in community college for a few classes to get feet wet to explore the possibility of majoring in history
• Provided garden goes well, raw food diet for 2 months during summer (or as long as I can stand it, heh)
• Talk to my grandmothers more often, write to them
• Work more beneficial magic for my family
• Comfortably and casually wear bold rusty-red lipstick
• Make mead!
• Obtain a divers license (tricky one, being I don't own a car)
• Hike regularly in the deep forests east of me
• Learn how to prioritize and manage my time better

That should do it. I may add or subtract from that list. I may have already mastered the wearing of bold lipstick causally.

Gotta fetch whiskey and start the non-existent menu for Hogmanay tomorrow! And, there is the cleaning. Greatly looking forward to making a huge racket when the clock strikes 12.

Well?

Woke at 4:30 am today. I am liking this early thing, maybe it’ll stick.

Left early to hit the very long bike trail near the house before we signed the lease. The trail heads south, out towards the country. I google mapped the shit out of the area and I guess the trail eventually goes to gravel, through a small town and ends inside of a state park. Yes.

I found several small entrances into the woods from the path as we rode further south. Thank the gods, because the trail area near the house has no entrance ways into the woods, either that or its private land … Or masses of bramble thickets prevent you from even thinking about giving it a go.

THE brambles, jesus H christ they’re fucking everywhere and laden with berries like you wouldn’t believe. Spotted a trio of rowan trees in a small flowering field, that I’m pretty sure belongs to someone. Sneaky trespassing? Maybe.

Gah. So much exploring and learning ahead of me. Couldn’t be happier right now.

My new life starts tomorrow. I'm going develop relationship with a land I know hardly nothing about, hopefully that is, if it is ok to have my company.

Argh,

Juggling work with this move is proving to be tougher than I thought. Starting now and up until the end of the year, everything will be mostly blurry.

Walked out and around the trail that leads towards the forest patch when we were out signing the lease. Most of it was private land with no trespassing signs fucking everywhere. Go figure. I know there will totally be a way around it. I know there is a patch with my name all over it. Blackberries are everywhere out there too. There will be no shortage of blackberry everything come late summer.

Also, yesterday it dawned on me: ancestors. DERP. This was affirmed by a flood of weird happy that filled me when I was in war mode over something stupid. It was strange, because I was like, O RLY? Could it be? And then it was a huge bucket of yes poured over my head.

not fucking around,

Herbs seed currently on order:

Henbane

Woad (SO EXCITED about this one)

Poppy (opium)

Indigo

Elderberry

Mugwort

Datura

Tobacco, wild

Wormwood

Much more to be ordered soon.

I didn’t realize this until after looking hard at google maps for a long time. I’m next to a creek, that is next to a large forest patch, that is next to a cemetery.

Its pretty obvious that I owe someone, something - big fucking time.