Yes, yes, the veil is thin! I know. But what I didn't know is that I would be encountering things (often!), or spirits rather. I think that some of this has to do with the personal oath that I made last month - so many doors have opened since then.
Last night, I ran down stairs to grab something from my working, ritual, scared(?) room. The second I walked in, I could see, although not physically but with my third eye a ghastly looking creature. It was so tall, it's head was touching the ceiling, elevated by these extremely long legs. It was surprised by my presence and just watched me. I very carefully walked into the room, grabbed what I needed and carefully walked out - it followed me to the door and went no further. I was really trying to shrug it off, but seriously. I walk in the room and it's like, SHABLAOW. It scared the shit out of me at first, but it wasn't threatening, mostly curious. I went back upstairs, trying to deny what I felt and saw... but couldn't!
I am having a hard time knowing how to react to these encounters. I keep remembering that first real journey I went on and how I was being told to listen. I am rereading Cunning Folk and Familiar Spirits, because it has different meaning to me now that I have personal confirmed visionary experiences. There is a lot more to be gained from that book, now that I understand it better!
I did acquire a helping spirit during the workshop with Christina Pratt, so I am pretty sure I should be looking towards him for help with these matters. I am still working out how to work with him, I mean, I'm trying to take all of this in stride. It's just a bit unnerving when it's being thrown at you, vigorously!
I also realize... I need to lay down some home protection.
Anyhow. There is food that needs to be cooked and an ancestor altar that needs to be set up. I am doing everything by the seat of my pants this year, it really bothers me - but I have just been so damn busy between my job and my work. My plan is to get so caught up with my job that it requires only maintenance, that way I have more time and enegry for my spiritual practices.
OH! I got accepted into the Hoodoo Rootwork Correspondence Course with cat yronwode! It was an honor to have the chance to talk to her over the phone. She's awesome and funny! Really looking forward to getting my supplies and book and getting my hands nice and dirty.
Off to the kitchen I go!
Monday, October 31, 2011
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Deipnon,
Cup of amanita supped, cake made, dates, garlic, wine, olive oil, homemade incense gathered. Walked a mile in the dusk to the crossroads, called to Her and left my offering. Left a payment to the local spirits for letting me work on their lands. Then I walked home in the black darkness without looking back. And that night I dreamt of snakes.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
For really real jouneying,
My body aches, it aches. I cant decide if it was getting out of bed last night to use the bathroom that effed my back, or the amount of journeying I did yesterday. My whole left body is all out of wack.
I went to a class yesterday hosted by Christina Pratt, it was on the basics of shamanic journeying. I have been wanting a basic primer into going into the otherworld. I mostly wanted to know if I was even able to do it. I also wanted to do it under the experience of someone, experienced in doing it! It was also a response to a prayer that was answered in less than 24 hours. There was a sacrifice involved. I had to give up buying (yes, I am a gamer nerd I will admit it) SWTOR and canceled my pre-order to pay for the class. Honestly, I could have afforded both, but MMO's are something I really have to check myself on, they can consume me. As much as I don't want to admit it, I have been told to give up hardcore gaming up. So I have.
She covered the world tree, moving up and down it; a concept that I was already familiar with. Intention, how to craft questions, spirit etiquette, etc. Our goal was to find our helping spirits.
I was really nervous, and really shy. Hah! I am a pretty serious hermit, so getting out like this was a little awkward for me.
She started drumming. I already knew of which tree would be my door, and I asked it (an Alder I know of) to allow me to go to the lower world. And I sank, I swam through dirt and rubble and was plopped out into a tunnel, the very back end of a dirt tunnel. There were roots, water on the floor and it smelled like deep rich earth, I was naked and covered in muck. I had been there before! I just never went outside of the tunnel. The doorway to the "outside" was surrounded by brambles and weeds. I stepped out of it, it was twilight and the sky had a sort of green cast to it.
It would take me ages to explain all that happened. We did several journeys that day. There was a snake, a horse, an arrogant bird, another animal that I feel a lot of pressure not to talk about or even mention his name. There was also, One Eye.
Personally, when I watched Valhalla Rising I saw One Eye as very Odin-esque. I was really curious about this, because I didn't know if this was me putting him in the journey, or if it was some sort of spirit using this image and archetype I have in my head to represent something. He was quite ambivalent to my presence. He drew me a sigil in the fire ash that we were near. Like in the movie, he was mute and did not speak. No one spoke to me in the lower world, they all communicated to me via emotions and feeling. Throughout my entire visit I was being told to LISTEN.
Each time we journeyed I found getting to the otherworld easy. It almost made me a bit skeptical, because it came so naturally. But I had the distinct feeling that I was in fact, in two places at once. After we would get back I would be groggy and a bit blurry eyed. I think I may have built up a bit of a stigma around it, or my own personal ideas of what it would actually be like or what it should be like made it harder for me in the past. Or, had I been doing it this whole time and didn't even know it!? I'm still processing the whole thing.
The upperworld was nutty, but I got there. We actually paired up with other people in our group and did a journey on behalf of our partner. That was so fucking cool! My partner and I exchanged our questions and went off. He came back to tell me why I always have the ocean in my dreams, and I told him why he hasn't had the motivation to paint. We had a good laugh because while I was traveling I kept hearing this rich southern mans voice saying, "that boy got cobwebs!" So when I came back, I had to put on my southern draw and tell him, "boy you got cobwebs!" It was good fun. It was also good to talk to people about the crazy shit I experience without them thinking I'm insane.
Now, I'm off to hobble around the house and get some work done. There is a lot to process still, but I am very glad that I am doing now, and not just thinking about it.
I went to a class yesterday hosted by Christina Pratt, it was on the basics of shamanic journeying. I have been wanting a basic primer into going into the otherworld. I mostly wanted to know if I was even able to do it. I also wanted to do it under the experience of someone, experienced in doing it! It was also a response to a prayer that was answered in less than 24 hours. There was a sacrifice involved. I had to give up buying (yes, I am a gamer nerd I will admit it) SWTOR and canceled my pre-order to pay for the class. Honestly, I could have afforded both, but MMO's are something I really have to check myself on, they can consume me. As much as I don't want to admit it, I have been told to give up hardcore gaming up. So I have.
She covered the world tree, moving up and down it; a concept that I was already familiar with. Intention, how to craft questions, spirit etiquette, etc. Our goal was to find our helping spirits.
I was really nervous, and really shy. Hah! I am a pretty serious hermit, so getting out like this was a little awkward for me.
She started drumming. I already knew of which tree would be my door, and I asked it (an Alder I know of) to allow me to go to the lower world. And I sank, I swam through dirt and rubble and was plopped out into a tunnel, the very back end of a dirt tunnel. There were roots, water on the floor and it smelled like deep rich earth, I was naked and covered in muck. I had been there before! I just never went outside of the tunnel. The doorway to the "outside" was surrounded by brambles and weeds. I stepped out of it, it was twilight and the sky had a sort of green cast to it.
It would take me ages to explain all that happened. We did several journeys that day. There was a snake, a horse, an arrogant bird, another animal that I feel a lot of pressure not to talk about or even mention his name. There was also, One Eye.
Personally, when I watched Valhalla Rising I saw One Eye as very Odin-esque. I was really curious about this, because I didn't know if this was me putting him in the journey, or if it was some sort of spirit using this image and archetype I have in my head to represent something. He was quite ambivalent to my presence. He drew me a sigil in the fire ash that we were near. Like in the movie, he was mute and did not speak. No one spoke to me in the lower world, they all communicated to me via emotions and feeling. Throughout my entire visit I was being told to LISTEN.Each time we journeyed I found getting to the otherworld easy. It almost made me a bit skeptical, because it came so naturally. But I had the distinct feeling that I was in fact, in two places at once. After we would get back I would be groggy and a bit blurry eyed. I think I may have built up a bit of a stigma around it, or my own personal ideas of what it would actually be like or what it should be like made it harder for me in the past. Or, had I been doing it this whole time and didn't even know it!? I'm still processing the whole thing.
The upperworld was nutty, but I got there. We actually paired up with other people in our group and did a journey on behalf of our partner. That was so fucking cool! My partner and I exchanged our questions and went off. He came back to tell me why I always have the ocean in my dreams, and I told him why he hasn't had the motivation to paint. We had a good laugh because while I was traveling I kept hearing this rich southern mans voice saying, "that boy got cobwebs!" So when I came back, I had to put on my southern draw and tell him, "boy you got cobwebs!" It was good fun. It was also good to talk to people about the crazy shit I experience without them thinking I'm insane.
Now, I'm off to hobble around the house and get some work done. There is a lot to process still, but I am very glad that I am doing now, and not just thinking about it.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
A hormonal rambling,
(wrote this a few days ago and just decided to hit publish)
I'm on my rag, and it blows right now. I have spent most of the day in a rental car running massive errands. Pounding headache. Irritable. I was also dealing with motion sickness in the car, which is a total WTF for me. I've never in my life had problems with it. Apparently I can not read and be in a moving car at the same time!
I encountered a witch in my dreams last night. She was an elderly black woman with silvery hair, it fit her like a glowing halo. She was teaching me things, for the life of me I can't remember what it was that she was showing me. I tend to dream in two sets, right after I nod off and again before I wake. It was an early part of the night dream and I woke up shortly afterward and told myself I should write it down. I didn't of course, I was asleep again before I could reach for my pen and journal. I need to be more disciplined with my dream note taking, because this is where most communication happens for me.
I got up to some witching on the full moon. There were a few projects that I needed to polished off. Consecrated some spiritual cleansing soap, a sort of Florida Water type recipe (scent wise).
I infused the oils with a variety of herbs, but the main one being hyssop, a plant I love dearly. It's a simple and humble, but one that I have strong relationship with right now.
I'm on my rag, and it blows right now. I have spent most of the day in a rental car running massive errands. Pounding headache. Irritable. I was also dealing with motion sickness in the car, which is a total WTF for me. I've never in my life had problems with it. Apparently I can not read and be in a moving car at the same time!
I encountered a witch in my dreams last night. She was an elderly black woman with silvery hair, it fit her like a glowing halo. She was teaching me things, for the life of me I can't remember what it was that she was showing me. I tend to dream in two sets, right after I nod off and again before I wake. It was an early part of the night dream and I woke up shortly afterward and told myself I should write it down. I didn't of course, I was asleep again before I could reach for my pen and journal. I need to be more disciplined with my dream note taking, because this is where most communication happens for me.
I got up to some witching on the full moon. There were a few projects that I needed to polished off. Consecrated some spiritual cleansing soap, a sort of Florida Water type recipe (scent wise).
I infused the oils with a variety of herbs, but the main one being hyssop, a plant I love dearly. It's a simple and humble, but one that I have strong relationship with right now.
Lots of seed for next year.
There was also homemade Florida Water, local red brick dust put to purpose (living by an abandon brick factory has its benefits), blessing oil made, mugwort cookies, offerings and other shenanigans.
Hah, do you not see a theme there? Hoodoo tends to find it's way into my practice. I've seriously been considering taking a course in Hoodoo with cat yronwode. I have the prerequisites needed, I just need to do the interview and once accepted, the book purchase. It would be a great thing to work on this winter, as I wont have too much going on. My roots are in the deep south, so it just seems right.
There was also homemade Florida Water, local red brick dust put to purpose (living by an abandon brick factory has its benefits), blessing oil made, mugwort cookies, offerings and other shenanigans.
Hah, do you not see a theme there? Hoodoo tends to find it's way into my practice. I've seriously been considering taking a course in Hoodoo with cat yronwode. I have the prerequisites needed, I just need to do the interview and once accepted, the book purchase. It would be a great thing to work on this winter, as I wont have too much going on. My roots are in the deep south, so it just seems right.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Done and done.
My dedication took the span of three evenings. It worked out rather well for it to end on the last day of September, I didn't specifically plan it that way rather, it just happened. So, I woke up on October 1st anew.
This oath wasn't to a deity, or spirits (that comes in time). It was to myself. A promise.
I called to my spirits, my ancestors and to Hekate. I called and I called, I kept calling... then I heard the bark of an unfamiliar dog outside, my awareness heightened and the candle light shifted just so that the face, and only the main darkened face of my Hekate plaque was illuminated. Some tears issued and I moved on with the rite.
I found something I had lost just a day before the dedication process took off. It symbolizes my union - I plan to guard and keep it, as long as it chooses to stay with me. It's a constant reminder of my promise. A constant reminder that I cannot turn back.
Although random, this happened on the second day of the dedication. I didn't even realize the (personal) significance until after the rite was done.
I went out to scout a piece of land I haven't visited in a while. It's a trail that breaks off of a main trail (former railroad track) here in my neck of the woods. I remember there being a three way dirt crossroads along the smaller trail. I figured it must have been overgrown by now. I was quite surprised to find it well intact, it really pleased me to find it that way. I rolled up a cigarette and puffed it (not inhaling) as an offering. The entrance path is very easy to get to and leads to the city. The other path to my surprise, but not really considering how invasive blackberries are here was literally choked with brambles, you'd probably bleed to death trying to walk through it. The third path you got access to by hopping over a few logs and lead right up a hill and into the forest, in a manner of speaking, that was the path I chose.
This oath wasn't to a deity, or spirits (that comes in time). It was to myself. A promise.
I called to my spirits, my ancestors and to Hekate. I called and I called, I kept calling... then I heard the bark of an unfamiliar dog outside, my awareness heightened and the candle light shifted just so that the face, and only the main darkened face of my Hekate plaque was illuminated. Some tears issued and I moved on with the rite.
I found something I had lost just a day before the dedication process took off. It symbolizes my union - I plan to guard and keep it, as long as it chooses to stay with me. It's a constant reminder of my promise. A constant reminder that I cannot turn back.
Although random, this happened on the second day of the dedication. I didn't even realize the (personal) significance until after the rite was done.
I went out to scout a piece of land I haven't visited in a while. It's a trail that breaks off of a main trail (former railroad track) here in my neck of the woods. I remember there being a three way dirt crossroads along the smaller trail. I figured it must have been overgrown by now. I was quite surprised to find it well intact, it really pleased me to find it that way. I rolled up a cigarette and puffed it (not inhaling) as an offering. The entrance path is very easy to get to and leads to the city. The other path to my surprise, but not really considering how invasive blackberries are here was literally choked with brambles, you'd probably bleed to death trying to walk through it. The third path you got access to by hopping over a few logs and lead right up a hill and into the forest, in a manner of speaking, that was the path I chose.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)