Chewing the cud,

And what am I chewing on?

Hellenic polytheism. To put it simply, it speaks to my heart. This is something I've just fully realized the past few weeks or so.

I find the gods everywhere I look and everywhere I turn.

I don't think I can avoid this/them, or just shrug it off. I feel like it's something I've been looking for, for sometime.

And what do I plan to do about it?

Make some serious additions to my personal practice and rework my calendar... for starters.

I don't really have any sort of lengthy explanation of how I came to this decision, I don't even think it was my decision to begin with! Hekate very neatly placed this in front of me. I asked for direction and the torchlight illuminates. I feel oddly awkward talking about this, it's such a personal revelation.

I heard this song at such an appropriate moment last night:

Don't try to run I can keep up with you
Nothing can stop me from tryin',
you've got to Open your heart to me, baby
I'll hold the lock and you hold the key
Open your heart to me, darlin'
I'll give you love if you, you turn the key
Open your heart with the key
One is such a lonely number

Milking the non-dairy cow,

Made my hazelnut milk. I could not find my blasted nut milk bag. So I just used cheese cloth and double strained it. Turned out rather nice. Kind of "green" tasting, but good nontheless.

Gunna get my bake on. Busted out my old culinary school baking book, totally forgot what a treasure trove that book is!

Its also bright and sunny here today, very windy though. Another long, cold, wet spring? Argh I hope not! Last year was bad.

Don't look into the devils eyes,

It was mid afternoon and I was heading down a hill, which stretched out into a huge and very old graveyard. As dusk began to approach, weird things began to happen. Drained bodies, dulled with no real life in them were walking around. Strange creatures were wandering the land and you could hear the echo of a far away voice, his voice.

Something cataclysmic happened. The world was turned upside down, the dead were roaming the land. Humans were being hunted, for what I now think (having woken up and processed the dream) was their souls.

I found a bay mare and we rode - not anywhere in particular but in and around the graveyard, searching for a way out. I dismounted by a shack and when I turned around, the mare had died. Everything was dieing. When I enter the shack, my husband was there. We decided that the best route out, was suicide - we didn't want to die at the hands of whatever was hunting us. The shack then became connected to a huge house and creatures were attempting to get inside the room we were in. They were odd, otherworldly creatures. One got through the door and attacked me, it was a crab looking creature. I managed to kill it by squeezing it between my thighs.

Eventually we were both over run by his minions, and we were summoned into a smaller room. Soulless humans laid about, there was a complete dullness about them. He was in a far corner, and he was very obviously terrible to look at. Shadows clung to him, he had cracked black skin and even though I wasn't supposed to look into his eyes, I was able to glance at them sideways - they were clear and of no color. He was horrible, and so fucking scary. He took my husband away from me (which I was sad for in the dream, but knew he was sleeping safe beside me). For some reason, he couldn't touch me. He wasn't able to take my soul. I was burning strange wax figures and clods of something, I don't know what they were. But I was untouchable, unhaveable.


I've been very, very lucid the past few days. Always gets this way right before the new moon. During that whole dream, the cats kept howling at us in bed waking me up slightly, but I knew as soon as I drifted off again I would be able to return right where I had left off in my dreaming.

I have no idea who or what that thing was, the "boss" if you will. I thought of him as the devil. When I woke up for real, after all the dreaming. This song was very clearly ringing through my head:

Was I out of my head? Was I out of my mind?
How could I have ever been so blind?
I was waiting for an invitation
it was hard to find

It's a stupid song that I don't even remotely like. It's something you'd hear while you're shopping for groceries or something. And it was just plopped, right into my head when I woke up. I don't know what ANY of this means.

I've also been noticing points in the day (for the past week or so) that I easily go into a light trance state without trying, it just happens. It's been a bit weird. I haven't been terribly diligent with my trance work lately, because I've been a bit too busy for it. I think I'm now able to easily identify that feeling though. Maybe I need to sit down and have a session, maybe I'll be able to go further than I think I can.


Anyhow, getting a small Imbolc celebration going. Since I don't do dairy, I figured a milk made of nuts would be nice. So, I purchased some local raw hazelnuts (this is hazelnut country after all) and they've been soaking over night. They'll be pureed with some water, half a vanilla bean, pinch of salt and a little bit of agave nectar then squeezed through with my nut milk bag (if I can find it!). Yum! There will also be a saffron and honey cake for Hekate, bannocks and a whole bunch of roasted root vegetables. Since it all falls on the new moon, I'll be leaving a bunch of offerings for Hekate at the small three way crossroads as well. I owe her much, she has been such a driving force for me lately.