Weeds weeds weeds,

I've been thinking about this for a while and Sarah got me thinking a little further about Entheogens and Self-Control. However, this is more about my recreational weed habit and not as something I use for spiritual experiences. Rather, it's about how it is hindering me from further spiritual growth.

I love pot. I've been smoking it regularly for about 10 years now, a few breaks here and there for good measure. My husband smokes it to help his appetite and stomach problems. I smoke recreationally, for pleasure, relaxation, sleep (my dream work suffers though when I smoke before bed), tunnel vision, warm blanket feeling, etc.

In the recent months and in the past though, I find myself burying a hole and staying there for weeks, months even and I don't get anything done - spiritually speaking. As much as I hate to admit it, as much as I don't even want to admit this to myself, it clogs me up anymore. Like I mentioned, my dream work will suffer horribly. I refuse to do trancework when high or even coming down, it feels counter intuitive and just plain awkward.

I keep thinking I could just set a time limit on when I smoke during the day, like smoking hours. Or consider doing it only as an occasional treat. Another part of me is nagging that I should give it up altogether, for the sake of my spiritual practice and development, because at this point I think that my habit is hindering me more than anything.

Sacrifices. They must be made. Noumenia is coming up and I think that that would be a good way to enter the next month. I'm going to do it.

*

I've spent most of the day cleaning like crazy. My husband surprised me when he said that I should take over the spare room of ours. We don't use it for anything other than bike storage, cat tower and TV that we never use. So, we've moved the television to the bedroom and I've been moving all of my books and sacred things into my, "lady time" room as we both call it. I'm pretty excited and happy.

Hymn to Hekate,

Lovely Hekate of the roads and crossroads I invoke;
In heaven, on earth, and in the sea, saffron-cloaked,
Tomb spirit, reveling in the souls of the dead,
Daughter of Perses, haunting deserted places, delighting in deer,
Nocturnal, dog-loving, monstrous queen,
Devouring wild beasts, ungirt, of repelling countenance.
You, herder of bulls, queen and mistress of the whole world,
Leader, nymph, mountain-roaming nurturer of youth, maiden,
I beseech you to come to these holy rites,
Ever with joyous heart and ever favoring the oxherd.

- Orphic Hymn to Hekate

(ETA: A better translation provided by Forest Door)

Solstice and some stuff,

I didn't have much planned for the solstice. A few days before hand, I decided it would be a good idea to leave offerings at the stream and bathe my Hekate plaque and my newly acquired statue of Artemis. So that's what I did. I read hymns and talked to the spirits of the stream and local woods. Left crystallized honey, my best pink lady apple and borage flowers. I lit up a tiny bit of tobacco as well. Daises were everywhere and so were the blazing foxgloves. It was a lovely day.

I also harvested the tallest grasses in the yard, to make a hand broom. I cut back the lemon balm and harvested tons of it. I want to use part of it in a tincture of perfumers alcohol - I am going to be experimenting in making botanical perfume for ritual use. I'm really into the idea of slow brewing alcohol based perfumes, the possibilities are endless.

The bees have been hard at work in the raspberry patch. All the flowers are now small little fruits, getting a little bit more plump everyday. It should go without saying that the first harvest is for offerings only, after that, I will be fucking drowning in raspberries!

Thank you sweet little bees, without you, we would not have such lovely and sweet things to eat.

Tomorrow I go to Eugene. The man and I are thinking about relocating there, actually, we are going to be relocating there - sometime in the future. We both rather prefer living in college towns (we met in a college town actually) they have a unique current that runs through them. We also dislike living in hipster central.