Dirt under my nails and sticky sweet smelling hands. I went and collected a bunch of balm of Gilead this morning. I found a massive amount of it right off the trail near the house. I caught a few strange looks from joggers and dog walkers. It was beautiful this morning though, low mist and birds dripping from the trees.
I'm thinking of making an oil with the buds, for working with Hekate and Artemis. They're so rich and pungent! Pure (real) cinnamon oil would pair super well their fragrance.
(wrote this bit a few days ago, injecting it here below)
I've paused with my trance work. I was getting close and closer with each attempt and when that wave of nausea hit me in my last session (over a month ago I think) and I could feel something I cant really describe creep up my spine it spooked me, so I'm on a break. Break might not even be the best word, more like, I'm scared of what might happen if I go further.
During the break, I have had moments of what I guess I could describe as a "thinness" - and it will hit me at any time, anywhere. I close my eyes and I feel like I'm falling. Or slipping into light trance states without even thinking about it, being taken totally by surprise.
I don't know what to do with it just now. I do know that the current thing on my mind is protective measures. I have a bunch of rowan wood that I had collected over the summer, that I would like to make beads out of and into a protective necklace.
I do want to dive deeper, but I'm glad that I'm not rushing into it.
(/end)
I experienced something similar, but pushed past it with the help of a friend with some experience. The key for me was making sure I was well grounded and had a call back. You might consider having someone with you who can call you back gently.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, there isn't anything to fear, you'll be fine. Those episodes will stop once you get through.
Carol Weaver has some drumming recordings for journeying that are timed and have a call back. Very helpful. They may also be of some assistance.
Blessings nine!
There must have been something in the air, I gathered pine resin today from the 200+ year old white pines near my house. My hands were sticky and sweet smelling all day.
ReplyDeleteWhen I journey/do trancework, I always do it with my animal spirit companions, and they limit how long I spend in the trance state. Between that and using a music track with a callback, I don't come close to passing out anymore, but I definitely did when I first started.
Sometimes when you let go, you are rewarded with ecstasy and rapture. It makes the first wave of nausea worth it. Other times the vertigo is only a symptom of the otherness when your spirit slips out of your skin. It takes a bit to orientate yourself. I have to be careful when I am walking near crossroads or am taking a bus or train as sometimes it happens involuntarily, especially when I haven't eaten.
ReplyDeleteWhen you're comfortable I hope you'll move through the fear and go that step further. Then you'll be a force to reckon with ;)