I love pot. I've been smoking it regularly for about 10 years now, a few breaks here and there for good measure. My husband smokes it to help his appetite and stomach problems. I smoke recreationally, for pleasure, relaxation, sleep (my dream work suffers though when I smoke before bed), tunnel vision, warm blanket feeling, etc.
In the recent months and in the past though, I find myself burying a hole and staying there for weeks, months even and I don't get anything done - spiritually speaking. As much as I hate to admit it, as much as I don't even want to admit this to myself, it clogs me up anymore. Like I mentioned, my dream work will suffer horribly. I refuse to do trancework when high or even coming down, it feels counter intuitive and just plain awkward.
I keep thinking I could just set a time limit on when I smoke during the day, like smoking hours. Or consider doing it only as an occasional treat. Another part of me is nagging that I should give it up altogether, for the sake of my spiritual practice and development, because at this point I think that my habit is hindering me more than anything.
Sacrifices. They must be made. Noumenia is coming up and I think that that would be a good way to enter the next month. I'm going to do it.
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I've spent most of the day cleaning like crazy. My husband surprised me when he said that I should take over the spare room of ours. We don't use it for anything other than bike storage, cat tower and TV that we never use. So, we've moved the television to the bedroom and I've been moving all of my books and sacred things into my, "lady time" room as we both call it. I'm pretty excited and happy.
My feeling has always been, if you feel in any way uncomfortable about it, if you suspect it might be a hindrance, then it's worth at least going without for a set period of time to see what happens. If that feels scary, then you *really* should do it! Might be that all you need is a break to evaluate where it is and isn't useful in your life, and make adjustments in use accordingly. Might be that it's masking something else. Might be that you can't ever use it in moderation. But definitely worth exploring further.
ReplyDeleteI wonder, though, is it the physical and mental effects of being high that feel counter-intuitive to trance, or the emotional baggage you associate with the experience? It's so interesting how these things can vary widely from person to person, as many use smoking to *facilitate* trance. But that's why it's so crucial, as Sarah said, to evaluate one's own relationship to entheogens.
You could do what my Moj did last year. He quit smoking pot completely for six months to see how he felt and to see if he could do it (he's been smoking regularly since he was 14). To take the pressure off himself he told himself it wasn't forever, it was for six months. Man was he a bitch for the first two months while it worked its way out of his system, but after that he was abnormally chipper, more relaxed, sharper and smarter.
ReplyDeleteSometimes a time limit can relax the part of your brain that gets anxious about quitting... even if you don't end up using it again. I learned that if you do quit, it is VERY hard if the other person in the household is still using and if you go to social events where others are using. It pretty much kills your determination and hard work.
Best of luck hun!
@forestdoor - I agree with you, if I fear giving something like this up, then I probably should! But that is what this break is all about, reevaluating my relationship with it.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I think it's the emotional baggage. I've found that I can usually enter light trance without any entheogens. I think what makes it awkward for me, is that I've been using it recreationally for so long that it feels a little out of place in some situations, if that makes sense.
@witchofforestgrove - LOL. Thank you for the encouragment!
I'm on day five right now and I admittedly am suffering from a bit of bitchiness theses days, heh. Yeah, it definitely isn't forever for me, but I think I need to see where I stand without it for a little while. Hey! Maybe this break will help me get more smarter :P
You'll be able to remember your dreams and to travel more easily without it in your system. You'll also be sharper and more organized - your business will definitely benefit! I remember when I quit, I was so surprised at how much it had numbed my brain. I also lost weight because the munchies were gone hehehe.
ReplyDeleteAs a herbalist I've had to tell myself it's a good useful herb... for chronic pain sufferers, cancer patients, and depression - and I'm none of those!